are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize