i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Damn victory sex feels great
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize