it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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