Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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