My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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