a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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