you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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