FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
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I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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