I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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