Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize