the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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