why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Less talking, more tequila
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize