WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
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It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
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This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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