I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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