You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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