it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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