Sponge bath it is.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize