just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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