Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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