And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize