I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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