I must be too annoying 4 u.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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