Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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