Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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