Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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