i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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