just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize