It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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