There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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