I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize