She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
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He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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