god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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