Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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