fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize