Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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