dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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