Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize