I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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