i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize