Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize