i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize