my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize