Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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