Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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