Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
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