sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize