I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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