I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
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In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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