You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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