Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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